What does it mean to have sexual dreams about men other than my husband?

Posted on June 6, 2010

At least once a week I have a sexual dream (not always sex, but major flirting, kissing, etc) about men other than my husband. These are actual men that I know. I NEVER dream about my husband. I love him with all of my heart, but our sex life isn’t great. Do these dreams mean anything?

I am going to make an educated guess that you are very troubled by the lack of communication that is happening between you and your spouse.

Your "dreams" are, most likely, a reflection of this disconnection. Dreams are thoughts we have while asleep. They, in themselves, are neither good or bad; however, they can be meaningful at a personal level.

Don’t misjudge yourself because they occur. You haven’t acted on your thoughts.

If you can, discuss your overall connection concerns with your spouse. (Probably best to keep the dreams a private thing.) Try to find out what is causing a divide.

In your communication steer clear of argument and focus on solution. Do your best to first hear your spouse’s concerns and hopefully, this may lead to him hearing yours.

In the end, you may best find that working with a marriage counselor will help redevelop the bond that will lead to satisfaction with the relationship for both.

Good sex in a relationship is an indicator of the satisfaction level of both parties.

Best of luck

Categories: what dreams mean


9 Responses

  1. Trevbo:

    You are a normal, functional human being.
    References :

    18.06.2010 16:52

  2. Huffnung für die Ursache:

    Nothing.
    References :

    18.06.2010 17:14

  3. Eve:

    Possibly your dreams are trying to make you feel how you want to feel with your husband but are not.

    Maybe you are starting to wonder what it would be like with someone else or if it would be different with someone else, or maybe your mind is just trying to show you how you want to feel. So why not go ahead and try to evoke those feelings with your husband.

    Chances are he could have issues and be scared of opening up to you fully (yes even after decades I’m sure that’s the case!) so who knows…take a chance on something new and exciting (dance, go for a midnight walk on a beach, etc.) and see what happens.

    Dreams like that symbolize what is missing in your life I think. Only you can really interpret what those feelings mean.
    References :

    18.06.2010 17:23

  4. Heimei:

    sure they do!! it means that you’ve unfulfilled sexual needs, & you’re not gettng them from your husband, on one hand you loves your husband & do not wants to hurt him, on the other you have your unfulfilled sexual needs, your subconcious desires is messing with you!! plus you’re not getting the attentions you so sorely wanted, he’s been neglecting you lately, taking you for granted, not paying you enough attention, things have becoming routine, & gotten into a rut, this is a common thing that happens to everyone after the romance fades with the passing of times, & the both of you settles into your daily activities. it’s up to both of you to ‘spice’ up your life(sex) talk to him or continue to dream
    References :

    18.06.2010 17:40

  5. xthomasmurrayx:

    nothing. It is natural and normal. As long as it stays in the dreams. It is just your curious unconscious mind doing a little exploring -
    References :

    18.06.2010 17:47

  6. Skipper:

    Sure you are horney and you want to try someone else BADLY.
    References :

    18.06.2010 17:58

  7. LV-Therapist:

    I am going to make an educated guess that you are very troubled by the lack of communication that is happening between you and your spouse.

    Your "dreams" are, most likely, a reflection of this disconnection. Dreams are thoughts we have while asleep. They, in themselves, are neither good or bad; however, they can be meaningful at a personal level.

    Don’t misjudge yourself because they occur. You haven’t acted on your thoughts.

    If you can, discuss your overall connection concerns with your spouse. (Probably best to keep the dreams a private thing.) Try to find out what is causing a divide.

    In your communication steer clear of argument and focus on solution. Do your best to first hear your spouse’s concerns and hopefully, this may lead to him hearing yours.

    In the end, you may best find that working with a marriage counselor will help redevelop the bond that will lead to satisfaction with the relationship for both.

    Good sex in a relationship is an indicator of the satisfaction level of both parties.

    Best of luck
    References :
    You can find a therapist in your area here:

    http://www.therapistlocator.net/

    18.06.2010 18:39

  8. s7e7v7e7n7:

    Your dreams about men other than your husband presents the opportunity to speak with him about your need for more affection and stimuli, some women have actually thought it to mean they should be with someone other than their husband and that is not ( in my understanding) what the dream is trying to say for you.
    References :
    Me;

    18.06.2010 19:29

  9. NS:

    Hi there! Well, I actually googled today “what if youre dreaming of someone other than your spouse.” After many many months of dreaming, I woke up today and had a realization that my husband is NEVER is any of my dreams! I however, dream about ex’s as well as sometimes even other females, which creates an even larger issue I think. I always wake up though and wonder what the heck is going on in my head.. and I ask myself if “ive lost it!” or not! My marriage is not the best out there.. even though there is lots of love, there is also lots missing. My husband and I fell in love just a couple weeks into us dating and all in the first month of being together, we got pregnant…. from there on out weve been together since the beginning, 3 years ago. We had our son and then got married and are coming up on our 2 year wedding anniversary. Starting everything that we did, so early, has definitely impacted us, i do know that. We missed a lot of the “dating process” that I feel is healthy to go through. Now we both work night shift… I at a hospital ( which I come home stressed and over worked ) and he at a computer company. I feel like we just go through the motions of every day life. As far as sex, well when it happens… i hardly want it to.. i end up looking at it as a “service” to him. I don’t know whats wrong with me! The sexual part is what fired us up when we first met and now here I am… could live without it. I love him with all my heart… but things are missing!

    I sure do hope you work your problems out… but I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT ALONE!!!! Good Luck!

    16.10.2010 17:55